Over before it starts

I saw this coming, I knew it was coming. Even with all the help, even with my friends telling me it was going to happen, even fucking bracing for impact, it still hits me. It hits me hard, it hits me in my heart. It was all I wanted, all I cared for. I dream about it, I think about it all the time, it keeps me going during the day, at night, everything... And it kills me that its not going to happen, shes going to be back with Kyle, she loves him like that, and doesn't me.

It hurts so bad that I barely even feel it, I barely feel anything right now, I'm just so numb. There is nothing I can do to stop it, there is nothing I can due to interject, and the odd thing is, I'm not suer that I would. Shes going to be happy, shes going to be back with who she loves...

I'm going to be miserable, but I care about her so much and I love her to the point that I'm going to give up me being happy so that she can be...